‘Everything I know about love’ in 2020

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2020 has been a sh*t show from the word go. Along side, you know, the global pandemic and the colossal impact on the entire world, personal trauma’s have been experienced by many. Dealing with the normal waves of life on top of the constant fear, anxiety and uncertainty has been almost impossible for lots of people. 

I feel extremely grateful for the health of my friends and family and insanely fortunate to still have a job that I absolutely love (shoutout to my Purple family for getting me THROUGH). However, I have, unfortunately and like many others, been through the shitter (for want of a better phrase) in my personal life this year. And whilst I am now thriving/living my best life so far as the pandemic allows, keeping my houseplants alive (Twitter fam, the glow up is still going well) and well just generally not having a meltdown all the time (just occasionally) it’s been quite the journey. Really, f*ck you 2020.

Anybody that knows me, is aware that I have the best parents in the world (hi guys I know you read everything I write), and I am eternally grateful for their endless support. I also have the best friends anybody could need or want in their lives and generally just an incredible support network. 

A while ago, I read ‘Everything I Know About Love’ by Dolly Alderton and ever since I’ve really wanted to put into words how I feel about friendships, female friendships in particular, and how far I’ve come since my turbulent relationship with friends I had as a teenager. Yet, despite many attempts and drafts, I’ve never quite found the words.

Today I’ve been inspired to put my thoughts down on paper, so to speak, as I feel an insane amount of love for my best friend as she supports me (yet again) on a bad day. My best friend knows exactly what to say to me every single time I WhatsApp her in a stress (which I can tell you is much more often than I’d like to admit on the Internet). She knows when to tell me to grow some balls and when to tell me my feelings are valid and justified. She knows when I need to rant and when she needs to just distract me. She sends me thoughtful post and texts me to check in at just the right moments. She’s just great, period.

And in general, I am so lucky to have such a plethora (isn’t that such a great word?) of people in my life who understand me, appreciate me and champion me. My friends have kept my head above water in the darkest times this year. They have been such a solid, grounding base for me, listening to me cry, scream and shout about how angry I am and reminding me that I’m a strong, independent woman (read: bad bitch) at JUST the right times. All I’ve had to do is grab my phone and reach out and somebody has always, always been there on the other side to help me pick up the pieces. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that in a world where we are constantly separated from our loved ones, a world where social interactions are limited to a virtual environment, and a world void of hugs and physical presence, I feel so, so much love (virtually) around me.

In a year when, without wanting to sound toooooooo dramatic, my whole life has been turned upside down and everything I fundamentally believed about love and relationships has pretty much been destroyed, I’ve ironically been loved harder and have loved harder than ever before.  

Dolly Alderton says it better than I ever could so am just going to leave you with this quote:

“When you’re looking for love and it seems like you might not ever find it, remember you probably have access to an abundance of it already, just not the romantic kind. This kind of love might not kiss you in the rain or propose marriage. But it will listen to you, inspire and restore you. It will hold you when you cry, celebrate when you’re happy, and sing All Saints with you when you’re drunk. You have so much to gain and learn from this kind of love. You can carry it with you forever. Keep it as close to you as you can.”

And I say, to all my amazing, incredible, best friends (that includes you Mum x), thank you, I love you x

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